Haters Gonna Hate
As a woman and a fashion blogger, I’ve realized that body image issues seem to run rampant. We live in a society where it’s okay to make comments about someone’s weight and judge prematurely based on looks. It breaks my heart to see this because I like to believe that my momma was right on when she said, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”
Through my blog I’ve had the opportunity to meet so many interesting men and women and I’m always inspired by their unique stories. One of my blogger friends is Cassie of “The Reluctant Femme” (And no, this is not the same Cassie who called me obese). While we’ve never met in person, I appreciate Cassie’s openness on a number of issues, ranging from sharing her own story of personal abuse to the ingredients in your nail polish. Cassie is a beautiful and smart young woman, so when she blogged about her fears of being labeled as a “fat girl blog” if she posted pictures of herself, I was shocked. I was incredibly humbled to see her reference to my blog in the post. Here’s the screenshot:
I write my blog for me and no one else. I don’t worry about what others think. If someone thinks I'm fat, so what? If someone thinks my hair is ugly or my makeup isn't good enough, who cares? I don't. Frankly, if someone calls you out for being too thin, fat, short, tall or whatever, politely invite them to leave your community. You have how many other readers out there that love you and your blog and don't care about your physique? You can afford to lose one person. And that one person who would say such terrible things about you isn't even worth your time.
Don’t get me wrong; I love each and every one of my readers. But my blog is an expression of me; I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not. And with that, I’m not going to let some social rules dictate that I can only write in a certain way or take pictures in a certain way because I am a certain size. I’m going to do it how I want to, because it’s my blog.
There will always be trollers on the Internet and mean-spirited people in real life that will make comments meant to hurt you in some way. And those people are not worth your time. The way you handle it is all that matters. You don’t need to respond publicly (like I did here and here), or even privately. Just don’t stoop to their level and don't let it get you down. Haters gonna hate!
All that being said, it takes a lot to be able to take pictures of yourself and your outfits and put them out there. I take hundreds of pictures, and most of them don't make the cut because you can see my belly roll here or my double chin there. I'm generally nervous posting pictures of myself. I still worry that someone might say something mean about how I look. I know it will hurt when it does happen again, but I also know that I have more readers that love and support me than I do mean nasty people.
My best advice to anyone who is scared about what others will think about you is simply to hold your head high with confidence. You have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to prove to anyone. Be proud and just go for it.
Miss Kate, Well said! I applaud and I believe the courage to be the person you were created to be is the key to finding your life. Your courage is inspiring!
Thank you Annie, that’s so kind of you to say. 🙂
Well said Kate!!!!
Thanks Christine. Hope all is well with you!
I love how you said, “I write my blog for me and no one else.” I think if we set out trying to cater our style, our writing, ourselves to what others think/want, then that’s all we’ll accomplish. But if we write for our true selves, we gain growth and insight to our own hearts. That’s something no one else can hand you. Beautifully written, Kate! ~Sarah
Thanks Sarah! Glad to have your support!
Preach it, girl! It takes a lot of confidence to put ourselves out there and some people are very quick to judge! People forget women come in all shapes and sizes, why shouldn’t there be representations and inspiration for everyone?
Thanks Zoe! Completely agree. Can’t wait to see what you’ve got coming up for your blog! You have such great posts and outfits.
I can’t count how many times I’ve taken outfit pictures and decided not to post them after uploading because I thought I looked too fat. This post is so encouraging and you’re right — I started my blog for me, not to mold myself into the fashion blogger ideal. I hope I can be as confident as you are in the future!
Thank you so much for your kind words Lexi! 🙂
BRavo! And please continue to be yourself! 🙂
Thanks Jen! 🙂
Go Kate! 🙂
Found this via IFB’s LALM. It is so daunting to place pictures of yourself on the internet knowing what judging place it can be but you sound so confident and self-assured, I should take a leaf out of your book! Well done on getting featured!
Thanks so much for stopping by Ramona, and welcome to the blogging world!
This is such a heartwarming post. Especially the last paragraph. Thanks for the thoughtful words. lad I found your blog!
Thank you Ashley!
Great post and message Kate – let’s hope that your perspective and confidence are contagious!
Thanks Devon! 🙂
rock what you’ve got! nice!
Thank you! 🙂
You are an inspiration. Beautiful inside and out. I want to be like you when I grow up…wait I’m already many years older than you darn it! Keep shining bright <3